Entries Tagged 'thinking' ↓

I’ve never been good at new years resolutions.

Not so much because I lack resolve, but more because I have no real idea of where I want to get to in the short (or long) term.

This year I doubt it will be different, but I do hope to be able to get more involved. With my family, with my work, with my friends. 2008 was a year of disconnect for me - I was caught up in the pregnancy and birth of Lola, and the business relocation, and didn’t really seem to have much time for the rest.

I am hoping that this year ‘the haze will lift’ (as advised by Joel Steinbeck) and I will see some wonderful things.

You included.

I’ve made a few gentle tweaks to the design, not sure if I am sold on them yet.

What do you think - are they noticeable, do they work? What would you recommend?

Yesterday I started a post in my head. A post about weeds.

Ended up too tired sore and grouchy to be bothered. 

I’ll keep it in mind for later.

Oh, and I totally blew the who NaNoWriMo thing. Maybe some other time. I have some thinkings to do.

If I was superstitious, I would surely think this house was haunted. Not a day goes by where I don’t spy something out of the corner of my eye, and feel like I am being watched when I know I am alone. I’ve never experienced this outside of this house.

It just happened again….

Bike Hero. My goodness.

Lola ain’t been well today.

I’ve been off work since Wednesday (there is another post brewing about that, so hold tight), and am scheduled to be back at work in 5 and a half hours. So why am I here, whipping up a quick blog entry? Because of Lola. Sweet, sleepless Lola.

She’s gotten progressively worse over the past few days - she appears to be getting her colic back, and is upping her Scream Time :: Sleep Time ratio. I spent a good portion of yesterday (around 60%) being nothing more than a human cot, as this was the only way she would sleep.

Anywho, not here to whine, just to say hi. I know it’s been quiet around the old Stacking Theory Campfire, but I’ll be back for more Kumbaya soon.

Gots to run now, because I have 3 hours of sleeping to do, and 5 days of beard to shave before I head of to work.

Meeting our new CIO tomorrow too, hmmmm…..

Update: Of course, that ‘3 hours of sleeping’ was based on the assumption that Lola would go back to sleep for more than the 2 minutes it took me to get into bed. On reassessment, I’ll say that I’ve got 2h45m before I have to start shaving…

It’s been a tough road so far. A quick glimpse at the WordWar shows me running way behind schedule. I’ve scrapped the first 1500 words I wrote, considered giving up, fought a few internal battles, and been through a bad patch with Lola. Such is Life. 

Thanks to Neil Gaiman’s advice (with a nod to Crumpet), and the first NaNo email, I realised that my unique concerns are the same as everyone else’s. The main difference lies in how we respond to them.

So I put aside my worries, and started a new story (the first one was truly terrible, and had no legs). I’m not convinced that I’ll complete the 50,000 words, but that’s not my main goal any more. My main goal is to try to develop a habit, a writing habit. I’m looking at the future, not at the present.

The latest NaNo email - from Jonathan Stroud -  highlighted another issue I struggle with on a regular basis:

This is just a first draft, after all. It doesn’t have to be a perfect thing. I once met an author who claimed only to write when actively inspired. She was a fine and venerated writer, so I didn’t let my jaw loll open too widely in her presence, but I didn’t really buy her claim, and I still don’t buy it now. If ‘inspiration’ is when the words just flow out, each one falling correctly on the page, I’ve been inspired precisely once in ten years. All the rest of the time, as I’ve been piecing together my seven novels, it’s been a more or less painful effort. You write, you complete a draft in the time you’ve got, you take a rest. Then—later, when you’ve recovered a little—you reread and revise. And so it goes. And little by little the thing that started off as a heap of fragments, a twist of ideas trapped inside your head, begins to take on its own shape and identity, and becomes a living entity, separate from yourself.

Kymbo and I just had a major-ish clean out. We went through our clothes, and sent 5 garbage bags of stuff we don’t wear to the local community care people. I mostly discarded pants, and yet I still have plenty.

I’m a hoarder by nature so these events, while common for Kym, are a significant event for me, and tend to get my mind going.

What memories and feelings am I throwing out with my pants, and what do I want to keep? What is important to me at the End?

Today I experienced one of The Things I’d Like to Keep: I looked into Harvey’s room, and saw him sitting on his bed, splitting open a pea-shell from his Grandparent’s garden, picking out the sweet crisp peas, and eating them.

If I can carry that vision to the End, I will be a happier man - sometimes a little teary - but happier nonetheless.

As you may expect, things have been fairly hectic here, which is one of my excuses for silence.

In lieu of real content, I’ve got a couple of random music notes for you.

First off, this great fun quote from our very own Mr Paul. If you need further explaining, check out this post.

Also, while I was driving home (a rarity) today, listening to some of the less listened to of my music collection, I pondered what the musical landscape would look like if Robert Pollard had ever really tried. I certainly don’t wish to accuse him of being lazy (the man has released about Seventy-Ker-Grillion or so albums), but I can’t help but think that if he’d really buckled down he could have had a resounding effect on modern music as we know it.

I’m sure I’ll go down in flames for saying that, but so be it. He’s a brilliant musician, a Genius of Melody - who I believe could have been a game changer - certainly as resounding as Coyne & Drozd, or that Cobain fellow.

End result - you must all go out and buy ‘Bee Thousand‘, for it is brilliance (and if you use that link, I will become rich beyond our wildest imaginings!).

Now I am off to pretend to record a covers album of Ween songs that were never as good as they should have been because Dean and Gene were always too far gone. I’m thinking tracks like Tender Situation, Loving You Through It All, Birthday Boy, Don’t Laugh, I Love You and Sarah.

This was going to be my ‘end of holidays’ whine-posting.

But the events of the last few days have put things in perspective, and instead of wasting my energies on shallow inane blah, I will instead use it to send all my love, peace, and goodwill to Paul, Crumpet, and Vetti.

It’s been a tough road lately for these beautiful people, and I wish I could take their suffering away.